Dealing with a Narcissist Lying in your Divorce: 7 Survival Tips

Are you dealing with a manipulative or narcissistic type ex during your divorce? Is your ex lying to everyone during your divorce? In this episode, Laura and Lynette use Brandolini's Law—the concept that it takes much more effort to refute lies than to create them—and explore how it applies to family law. With practical strategies and actionable tips, they unpack how to deal with false allegations, overwhelming legal tactics, and post-separation abuse. Whether you’re facing mediation, legal letters, or the courtroom, this episode is packed with strategies to help you stay organized, conserve energy, and protect your peace.

Disclaimer: This podcast provides general legal education and is not a substitute for independent legal advice. Always consult a qualified lawyer for guidance tailored to your situation.

Listen to This Episode If You:

• 🌟 Are dealing with a narcissistic or manipulative ex during divorce.
• ❓ Feel overwhelmed by false allegations or legal or post separation abuse.
• 💡 Want to learn strategies to document and disprove lies effectively.
• 🛡 Are struggling to conserve your energy and stay focused during legal battles.
• 📚 Need tools to manage post-separation abuse in mediation or court.

Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

1. Understanding Brandolini’s Law:
• The principle that it takes significantly more effort to refute lies than to create them.
• How this applies to family law and dealing with false allegations.
2. Steeling Yourself for Narcissistic Tactics:
• How to prepare mentally and emotionally for lies and manipulations.
• Why expecting the unexpected can give you the upper hand.
3. Conserving Energy and Focus:
• Tips for using your time and resources wisely when faced with endless false claims.
• The importance of documenting everything from the start.
4. Proving Credibility:
• Demonstrating that your ex is an unreliable witness.
• Why detailed documentation and evidence are critical for the court.
5. Navigating Mediation and Court:
• Strategies for dealing with falsehoods in affidavits and mediation sessions.
• How to choose your battles based on the stage of your case.
6. Self-Care During Legal Battles:
• Managing the emotional toll of post-separation abuse.
• Creating a safe space for yourself and your children.

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Free Resources:
• Word Salad Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/wordsaladchecklist
• Mediation Checklist
• Before You Go Checklist
• Recommended Episodes:
• Mind Over Manipulation: The Grey Rock Technique
• https://youtu.be/bXEV6LJPQR8?si=KdJ5xzP9tR1vea46
• How to Read a Legal Letter Like a Lawyer https://youtu.be/4BebPATCgLc?si=3ID87tAoQXRb5KZ3
• Navigating Post-Separation Abuse
• https://youtu.be/YALj5wsoe6k?si=2OW7tnlGWErAljap
• Court Conveyor Belt: What to Expect
• https://youtu.be/ZgK7ExIgOfk?si=4_yT8CHeZATSAOos

Emergency Contacts:

• WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE: Call 1800 811 811
• LEGAL AID: Visit Legal Aid
• Lifeline: Call 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support and counseling.
• Mensline Australia: Call 1300 789 978 for confidential support for men.
• Kids Help Line: Call 1800 551 800 for young people needing help.
• National Domestic Violence Hotline (1800 RESPECT): Call 1800 737 732
• Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123

Final Thoughts:
Navigating lies and manipulations during divorce is exhausting, but you don’t have to do it alone. With the right strategies and support, you can overcome these tactics and come out stronger. Remember, organization and preparation are your best tools. Take it one step at a time—you’ve got this.

Disclaimer: This podcast provides general legal education and is not a substitute for independent legal advice. Always consult a qualified lawyer for guidance tailored to your situation.

00:00 Introduction to Brandolini's Law and Narcissism in Divorce

00:21 New Year Greetings and Divorce Realities

01:32 Understanding Brandolini's Law

02:50 Applying Brandolini's Law to Divorce & Family Court

04:16 Seven Tips for Handling Narcissistic Exes in Divorce

06:03 Using Your Energy Wisely in Family Court

08:40 Proving Lies and Managing Distractions in Mediation or Family Court

20:43 Interim Hearings and Final Trials & Affidavits in Divorce

27:31 Mediation Strategies with a Narcissist 

32:48 Final Thoughts and Encouragement